Perhaps it is time to roll up the sleeves, and deal with that dark side. You know, get to grips with the parts of yourself that you cannot stand. Of course it would easier if you just appreciated how kind, sweet and forgiving you are. Perhaps you feel “what is the point of looking at what is wrong with me, it only makes me feel down hearted?” But you can gain more than an advantage confronting some “darker” tendencies. For example:
- You ignore your defects and yet they plague you. You secretly criticise yourself. You have hidden low self esteem.
- Going around pretending to be a squeaky clean, or a lookalike for Mother Teresa does not get you brownie points.
- You are a know it all, when someone spots your faults you react aggressively to defend yourself, which does not help you make friends or influence people.
- You launch into criticising others when you are insecure; seemingly you have never heard that phrase about people in glass houses.
- You fear getting to know your true nature. You are terrified of what you will learn. Perhaps you are a potential mass murderer.
- You cover up insecurities with denial. The word “unconscious” makes you feel bad.
If you want to understand some aspects of your dark side here are a few hints.
- Check out your emotional reactions when you meet someone who pushes your buttons. Know that you have the potential to be exactly like them.
- Use your dreams. Learn to decipher their language. Realise nightmares symbolise the hidden part of yourself screaming to get out.
- Meditation will help you go deeper into your dark side. As you meditate realise that the nagging voice in your head, those strange images that block your peace of mind are the very attitudes blocking your happiness.
- Be spontaneous in company. For once in a while say what you feel to someone you have difficulty communicating with.
- Keep a diary, paint or write poems. Allow your inner voice to tell you the truth and own up to what you feel no matter how grim, destructive or self critical.
Learn to play the game of opposites. Realise in every self controlled individual there is a passionate “hottie” trying to get out In every puritan there is a wild and free nutter longing to dance in the moonlight. In every party girl, there is a potential hermit on a hill. When we find the opposite, or our shadow side we liberate ourselves from its burden and learn to fall in love with life. We finally deal with the very thing we are afraid of, and we could change our lives to the positive as a result. Why? Because finally we are authentic! You don’t have to be a saint, just yourself.
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